Comments are closed. Previous Article Next Article This week’s guruOracle’s talking double dutch over HR’s impact– Guru travelled all the way to Amsterdam only to hear that, in a perfectworld, there would be no such thing as HR professionals. Likening HR to estate agents and lawyers, IT giant Oracle’s vice-presidentof HR claimed business would be better off without us. Apparently, managerscan’t blow their noses without having to talk to us, which undermines theirabilities. Put simply, HR gets in the way, delegates heard at the ENGconference. Well Guru disagrees. If HR is working in an environment such as at Oracle,where it is only seen as a cost and a necessary evil then it will never beallowed to fully contribute. At organisations that have cottoned on to theimportance of talent and strategy to business success, however – see PersonnelToday’s current ‘Delivering HR Strategy’ series (see p20) – HR can be anenabler not a barrier. The only time Guru gets in the way of line managers is when he elbows hisway to the bar on a corporate jolly. – Guru received grave news this week when the powers-that-be ordained hemust get his best shiny-bottomed suit out and lug it to Harrogate for theindustry’s annual outing. What’s worse, he is being forced to do his bit on the Personnel Today stand(B60). Guru has been told to stand there and be nice to people. Guru appeals to anyone out there to make their protests felt at thisflagrant exploitation of the ‘any other duties’ in his contract by e-mailing [email protected] lunch related to the benchIt has been said that there is no such thing as a free lunch. Nonsense. Formany years Guru has been working his way round the eateries of London provingthis theory completely redundant. The ‘fictional’ mouse spotted under the restaurant table, the stray haircunningly placed in the soup and the Michael Winner disguise kit have allhelped to secure gastronomic freebies. However, Guru’s best source ofcharge-free dining is now under threat after the Financial Times cut its expensebudget last week, banning staff from wining and dining key contacts. It brings an end to Guru’s weekly tradition of spouting some old rubbish toa journalist in exchange for a good trough. Sales of the FT will surely plummet while the UK’s high streets becomejammed at lunchtime with industry’s movers and shakers seeking out the bestvalue meal deals. It’s a fare cop for driver Mulopo Personnel Today reported in August on the need for HR departments to reviewtheir policies covering company car drivers as an increasing number are beingcaught on CCTV speeding, committing parking offences and even kerb crawling.Guru thought it unlikely that anyone would be so stupid as totry and pick up a lady of the night in a company vehicle (Guru had a ‘friend’who would hotwire one of his colleagues’ cars before undertaking such shadyactivities), so was astonished to read about a bus driver who was caught kerbcrawling in his double decker after finishing his shift. Everisto Mulopo was nicked when he tried to proposition anundercover officer. Mulopo was subsequently fined £300 by magistrates and sacked byhis employer London United Busways. GuruOn 1 Oct 2002 in Personnel Today Related posts:No related photos.